under the cotton is the candy

by Art Chantry:

of course, the really crazy shit starts after you get your ‘temple endowment.” although young men are raised to be potential gods (with their own planets) starting at the age of 8 (as a priest, a deacon at age 12 and a high priest before they go on their infamous “mission’), women have a much longer harder path to travel before they are allowed to actually ENTER the temple.

AC:oh, and women in mormonism don’t get to go to heaven. they stand at the gate and wave bye-bye to their husbands as the go on without them.

yeah, most mormons don’t even get to go into the temple. gays and blacks have a much harder path, too. but, if you are a young white straight man, you are born into the elite. once you enter the temple, that’s when the really high strangeness starts up. for instance, that’s when you get your “armor” (magic undies) that you have to wear the rest of your life to protect you from the ‘gentiles’. that’s why mormon people dress so strangely and old-fashioned, because they aren’t allowed to expose their underwear except during special pre-ordained moments (like certain sports.) many mormons actually bathe in their underwear. sex, too. mormons also have special phrases and words and gestures and touches to suss out this stuff. the ‘mormon touch’ is something all mormons know about. it involves certain places where the give a quick caress to ‘check’ to see if others have their undies on. many mormon women actually wear their bras OVER their underwear and some develop horrible rashes from it, too. it used to be worse, because it used to be ankle to wrist in the olden days. they’ve modified it a little for the women, a lot for the guys. and mitt romney wears the underwear. … the costumes, rituals and chants and philosophies and ideas about the world and cosmos. this is not going to work when we elect the guy as BOSS. it’s going to get weird fast.

…AC: this ain’t nothin’! read about their ceremonies based on old masonic rights. i swear it sounds more like theosophy or scientology than anything else. maybe a little sillier, perhaps (like the OTO). bad sci-fi, except with enormous political and financial power…i wish it were only the clothes. this is silly and even little cutesy-weird. but, the rest fo that belief is off the deep end batshit nutso. no offense. just the truth. even mormon scholars have to admit it often….

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